"Workers of the world, unite!" Retail corporations are increasingly exploiting their workers. If you have the opportunity to join a union, do so, and then fight on its side.
2014 Thanksgiving official announcement
Retail workers must report for work this Thanksgiving at 7:00 PM.
We managers have decided that Black Friday needs to start earlier.
Why postpone the toy riots that we can start Thursday evening?
Some of you ask whether we are paying bonuses for your extra hours.
Your bonuses will be keeping your jobs, provided you obey orders.
Happy Thanksgiving!
2015 Thanksgiving official announcement
Retail workers must report for work this Thanksgiving at 12:00 PM.
We managers have decided that Black Thursday needs to start earlier.
Why postpone the junk-gift riots that we can start Thursday at noon?
Some of you ask whether we are paying overtime for your extra hours.
We must delay your pay due to the holiday, but you will get it, over time.
Happy Thanksgiving!
2016 Thanksgiving official announcement
Retail workers must report for work at 7:00 PM on the Wednesday before Black Thursday.
We managers have decided that Black Thursday needs to start earlier.
Why postpone the food and clothing riots that we can start Wednesday evening?
Some of you ask whether we are paying anything for your extra hours.
Our banks require us to withhold your pay; but we gladly give you our thanks.
Happy Black Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday!
2020 Black November official announcement
Retail slaves must report for work on October 15 at 4:00 AM.
We managers have decided that Black November needs to start earlier.
Why postpone the mass executions while they extend our arena profits?
Some of you ask whether we pardon anyone who refuses extra hours.
Our politicians require that we pardon no union organizers.
Happy Black October and November!
